#13: Moving, melting: doses of isolation without collaboration

Instead of exploring and honing creative impulses we are taught to produce, or look like we are. 

For a public image of being industrious, we brand ourselves with so much solid-sounding language and make each thing we put out into the world feel like a product that we put our souls into and are super proud of. 

Communication like this feels stilted. Welcome to the digital age! 

The world of constant content is dizzying and it’s hard to feel like there’s any reason to add myself to the mix.

Maybe it’s because I don’t yet have a close-knit group of people/musicians/artists to converse with, get feedback from, and collaborate with. That’s my dream. 

Maybe it’s because everyone’s reality is chaotic and there are bad people out there along with the good. 

But I don’t want art to be made because of what other people want. Besides not being realistic, doesn’t art come from inside? 

Well, it’s 3 months of COVID-19 social distancing and I haven’t felt artistically productive much at all recently. I took 3 months off from this blog, from life basically. Guilt rose to some pretty absurd levels at times; sprinkle in lots of self-pity, loneliness, laziness, and numbness, and there you go -- a fun-filled vacation. 

Insert image of hitting my head on a wall for a while and then moving on. 

Sunday I sat down and came across some old audio I recorded in various locations -- Switzerland, Phoenix PHX airport, Maine, a bathroom in the basement of the Boston Symphony Hall -- and started layering it together. Then I looked through pictures and videos on my phone -- from Maine, Canada, California -- and decided to make a collage. 

Here it is. If you want, please let me know what you think. 

Happy almost summer!