S1E3 - My Voice: Does it Matter What I Say?
Last Tuesday, the day after the 2nd episode came out, I was thinking about it being the 100th day of 2018, and what have I done this year I couldn’t have done last year? For one, this. And don’t worry, there is still more than 2/3rds of the year to go! When it comes to self-critique, it’s not just my voice that bothers me sometimes, but I think no one would argue with me and say my voice **boring voice** is the most engaging cool sound ever. Some people in my life tell me I’m gorgeous and great, and my plain Jane self keeps wearing flat shoes and sports bras and staying comfortable with my freckles. But, looking back in the timeline of my life, I straightened my hair as a teenager, had a nose piercing, gauged my ears to where a glowstick could fit through, and I actually feel cooler now. I’ll use **funny voice** funny voices and **crazy voice** carazy dance moves to prove to music students it’s ok to be out of our comfort zones. Then I’ll go back in my shell and not do anything like that around adults. One strange thing is that I haven’t always wanted to share things with people, and now that I more often than not share when I have something to say there are certain contexts when this is not so, certain people that I’ve been less open around for many years and I still don’t talk freely. They’re not used to listening to me, and I’m not used to talking to them, so the thought of it makes me quite nervous. Well… It’s not about being the best at something, though, is it? it’s about doing our best. Focus is huge. This podcast is a tiny thing but it’s proof to myself that my thoughts aren’t just in my head. Wait, there’s no telepathy is there? **talk to audience** Actually, I just mean that I’m sharing them with you over this audio recording, I think. **insane** You’re not in there, are you? Maybe my mundane thoughts make sense in some small way to you, and putting them out there is nice. But get out of my head! Do you like your voice? If you like the sound of your voice, great! If it’s your favorite thing in the world, you might talk too much. **Valley Girl** If you despise your voice, maybe try talking to yourself in the car or shower and getting used to its quirks, breaks in pitch, valley girl tendencies, whatever it is that bothers you. **show voice** We may never sound like a radio show host, but WE HAVE voices. My voice sometimes gets a point across and sometimes confuses people. Sometimes I think before I talk and sometimes I talk without thinking, and both have their place. I’ve gotten a lot of things off my chest by taking a walk and having a conversation. I’m also the sort of person when a circle of people is sharing in order and it’s getting close to my turn my heart starts seeming really loud and heavy and my breathing gets shaky. And yet I’ve had multiple jobs I quit because I didn’t feel like they respected my time and effort, I’ve broken up with guys because they were holding something back, weren’t the one, and it wasn’t the right time in life for me to hold on and fix things, I’ve called family members out in person when they’re being mean. I also once sent passive-aggressive Facebook messages to a whole bunch of extended family with different personal beliefs to tell them I just want to know about what’s going on in their lives, not everything they decide is great to share, so I’m going to unfollow them. That might have been better left unsaid, but hindsight is 20/20 and they’ve never had a heart-to-heart conversation with me about why they constantly have to post memes that have questionable, debunked facts. Ok, enough on that, people are people and I myself have lots of thoughts that aren’t rational. Back to the whole “don’t believe everything that you think” bit. (Oh wait, maybe that’s in a future episode. Ok, just wait for that. Aaaanyway...) I love the world and I love people, I think I’m ok, and that’s a pretty good starting point if I do say so, myself, with my voice. The moral of this tidbit is: Do what you want, kind of, be nice, all that good stuff, and see you next week!